“You told me goodbye, How was I to know, You didn’t mean goodbye, You meant please don’t let me go.” – Robert Hunter (Grateful Dead)

Woke up thinking about work again, it’s been an amazing few months with our software going into almost every major nightclub and dozens of great restaurants throughout Atlanta, and I’ve hired three sales folks, and I’m just amped still. We release on iphone very soon, and the anticipation to see how everything all works is palpable.

Staying busy has kept me emotionally stronger than I think I would have otherwise been with all the damn goodbyes this year. Starting with the one at the beginning of the  year that still stings most prominently no matter how much i wish it didn’t, it’s like my professional life had to make a trade with my personal life or something.

I still feel good sobriety wise though. Had an ear infection in the beginning of the week and my hearing is only about 50% of what it usually is, but it finally seems like its getting better. That’s always scary in sobriety, in our heads its never just an ear infection, I was positive I was going deaf. But 100 bucks for a drs appt and some antibiotics and it seems to be going back to normal.

Visited my sister for her birthday and got to hold the new baby, and she is gorgeous. They are so happy with their perfect little family. I remember those days, when my now 15 year old son was first born, every breath is magic, and they smell so good. My son still smells sweet to me. My cousin has two kids as well and me and the older one, who is 3, played angry birds and ant smashers on my phone until he killed the battery. There was a hyper dog running around as well. How is it the people who already have 2 kids, working on three, also have a hyper dog running around, and just don’t even seem annoyed by any of it? I guess when you’re happy those things don’t irritate you, and they are all very happy in their new families.

I guess I’m just lonely, but hey thats the brakes, nobody ever promised me anything in sobriety except for work, and a daily reprieve. I didn’t wake up with an obsession to drink and drug and somedays that is all the victory you’re going to get.

Still no word on the addicted project interview but I’m definitely looking forward to seeing that in print.

Tomorrow evening, 8 pm, telling my story at the 8111 clubhouse for those in the know! Hope to see you there!

– Jared Bryan Smith

Success is the steady realization of a worthy goal. – Earl Nightingale

Funny both my father who died when I was 11 to suicide, but really to alcoholism and addiction, and my step father who stepped into my life right after his death, both listened to Earl Nightingale tapes almost religiously. I listen to them over and over, as well as other philosophers and sales training gurus, and they almost always make me feel amazing. I hear different things at different times in my life. When I was 18 and trying just to survive I heard, just try, and God will get your back, as I remember it seemed so daunting, such a huge prospect to provide for a family at 18, but sure enough, after only six months of really struggling we were making really good money and I bought my wife and I a house. Now, emerging from the wreckage of the tail end of 20 years of destructive drinking and drugging I’ve really been hearing a different message as I listened to this former Marine, WW2 vet with his amazingly soothing voice.

I’ve been hearing, “Not only is it good to be working towards a goal, but you, as a human being, as a man, are most happy, when working HARD And Diligently to a worthy goal.” I think back over my life, and so it is the clear uncut truth. When I was trying to buy Anne Marie that house and provide food for my son, or when I was first trying to get sober, or then once I’d started the book, and the project of Books4freee.com, immersed in those goals, that is when I am the most happy, useful and whole.

Applying Think and Grow Rich’s principles from Napoleon Hill, a man who studied all the giants for industry, from Henry Ford to Thomas Edison, and believed that having a stated goal you said aloud in the morning right when you wake ups well as at nite right before you go to bed allows the principle of autosuggestion to tap into Infinite Intelligence, or God and keeps you focused on that goal all day long. I’ve never actually employed the principle without it working… it’s almost magic… and more it makes my days go by so much faster, and ever better happier. When I was sitting around waiting for the software to be developed for my new project, I had too much time on my hands and I was not anywhere near as happy as now, that I’m out in the field selling it! I don’t think I would be very happy retiring, I am much happier working towards a goal.

I’ve often marveled at how similar Napoleon Hill’s program, with it’s principles of autosuggestion and the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous really are. He is a big believer in the Mastermind Principle, as were quite a few philosophers in recorded history, most notable, Jesus Christ who said “Wherever two or more are there in my name” there I am , and whatever is asked for shall be received, so how fitting is it that almost all sponsors tell you to pray thanks at the end of every day and please give me strength at the beginning. Not too far off from stating a Definite Mission Statement summarizing a steady realization of a goal, worthy to be had, both morning and night. What is a meeting if not a Mastermind Principle, stating that all of us are there to stay sober, just for today.

Every time I tried staying sober on my own, I lasted a week or two, tops and then I would “Change my mind about sobriety.” Not only would I not change my mind once joining AA, but the staying sober part became much much easier. As if the bond that connects us has it’s own weight, it’s own mass, it’s own properties that make 1+1 = 4 instead of 2. It does ya know. It’s magic. I love it and I love the rooms.

If you find yourself unhappy in AA, get a goal. Hell, get a job, and then a goal. Something to works towards. Your OWN dreams, not somebody else s. And DREAM BIG, that’s what makes it exciting!!!!

Check out my featured profile on :

Theaddictedproject.com

How awesome to be listed among the ranks of VIII Days Clean!!! Slowly but surely!!!

They’ve got a picture of my real face up there, but fuck it, anonymity is overrated, and how anonymous can you really be in the age of facebook with over 3k AA friends connected to your profile, lol.

-Jared Bryan Smith

Featured Author : The Addicted Project – Jared Bryan Smith

Wow, what an honor, to be asked to do anything at all special regarding the book, but to be asked to be a featured author for a recovery based website, I mean, that’s damn near moving.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in recovery, I’ve not always been the kindest, most humble human being on Earth, but one thing I think I have done is stayed honest, and stayed true to the retelling of my unique story and the tragedy as well as triumph I’ve been through, from losing both parents, to stealing from my dying mother, to losing my mind and ultimately almost my life to Hep C. I was honest in the story, in the book Hippopotamus Sea, and though it doesn’t always paint a proud picture it paints an honest one of what that experience was like. To be asked by Joshua Robbins to be a featured author is more than an honor, it makes it all worth while.

Every review, every pat on the back, every small purchase of 99 cents from smashwords all make me feel like it was worth something. That spending three years writing it and shoveling through all that emotion, and the even more painful sharing of that emotion and allowing others to see all that vulnerability, is something that not a day goes by and I don’t at least ponder the good sense of, but ultimately, as time ticks on and I get letters and emails from other Hep C and Interferon sufferers, I am glad I was guided by my higher power to write, finish and bare my soul to the world. It was worth every drop of tears, sweat and blood, when a fellow artist reaches out to you and says “hey man, I like your work and I’d like to make you our featured author.” It means the world to me and I’m really humbled.

I’m humbled but also thrilled and excited to be a part of the project, and glad, able and willing to contribute on the project moving forward.

Show some love when you get a chance and check it out on:

http://www.theaddictedproject.com

and when you get a chance please read the book Hippopotamus Sea: My Viral Sobriety from smashwords for 99 cents and please please please, leave a review as Indie publishing lives and dies by grassroots support. Thanks so much!

-Jared Bryan Smith